Abagore: Dore uburyo bworoshye wakoresha bigatuma umugabo wawe aguha ibyo wifuza byose

Abagore benshi kimwe n’abakobwa ntabwo bazi amagambo n'uburyo bakoresha kugira ngo umugabo agubwe neza maze abakorere ibyo bifuza. Aha hari uburyo 5 wakoresha maze umugabo wawe akaguha ibyo ushaka nk'uko Elcrema ibivuga:

1. Mubwire uti: “Ndagukunda mukundwa” cyangwa se umwite akandi kazina kuje rukundo

Si ngombwa ko ukoresha iyi nteruro gusa, ushobora no gushaka akandi keza kamushimisha cyangwa se ugahina izina rye mu buryo buryoshye. Ibi ngo biramushimisha cyane kuko niba utajya ubwira umugabo wawe cyangwa se umuhungu mukundana ko umukunda ngo uba urimo kwishyiriraho inzitizi z’uko atazapfa kukugirira impuhwe no gutuma hajyamo ikintu gisa naho kibatandukanya. Ibi kandi bituma akujya kure mu mutima no mu byiyumvo bizatuma atazagukorera ibyo wifuza.

2 . Niba wakoze ikosa geregeza guca bugufi usabe imbabazi

Bwira umugabo wawe uti ‘mbabarira’ mu gihe wumva umutima wawe ugushinja ikosa kuko atari byiza kwihagararaho kandi wakosheje. Ibi nubikora uzatangira kubona uburakari bugenda bumushiramo bityo nawe uramutse ugize icyo umusaba yahita akiguha vuba na bwangu kuko mu mutima we haba hera.

3. Jya ubwira umugabo wawe ko ari mwiza

Birashoboka ko umugabo wawe atari mwiza ku isura cyangwa se ari na mwiza kandi nawe abizi. Niba atari mwiza ku isura ibyo ari byo byose afite izindi ngingo nziza; jya umubwira uti “nshuti yanjye ufite ibirenge byiza cyangwa se ureba neza” niba koko areba neza. Ibyo bizamushimisha cyane abone ko umubona ukishima.

Niba ari mwiza kandi akaba anabizi si ngombwa ko abandi bazajya bakubwira ko ufite umugabo mwiza cyangwa bakanabimwibwirira nyamara wowe utajya ubyatura ngo ube wabivuga. Mubwire ko ari mwiza bizatuma agubwa neza muri we yumve ko ujya ugira igihe cyo kumumamaho akajisho.

4. Niba mwirirwanye mu rugo mubaze uti “urifuza kurya iki ngo nkigutunganyirize?”

Ibi ngo bigereranwa n’indiririmbo nziza umugabo akunda kumva. Burya ngo abagabo ntibavuna, ibintu bito bito birabanyura, burya abagabo baba bifuza ko abagore babo cyangwa abakobwa b’inshuti zabo babategurira ifunguro mu gihe birirwanye mu rugo kandi bashonje; niyo mpamvu uzumva abantu bavuga ngo umugabo yumva bitewe n’ikiri mu nda ye. Numara rero kumutunganyiriza ifunguro ukanamugaburira nta kintu uzamusaba ngo akikwime.

5. Jya umubwira ko ariwe mugabo uzi gukunda mubo mwamenyanye bose

Buri mugabo wese ngo akunda kumva ko ari umuntu udasanzwe kandi ko yihariye; niyo mpamvu nawe ugomba kujya umubwira ko ari umuntu udasanzwe mu buzima bwawe. Ibi bizatuma yumva ko ashoboye kandi ko agushimisha; maze ahite agukorera icyo wari waramusabye mu rwego rwo gukomeza kukongerera umunezero.