Ntukemere ko akubeshya: Dore ibimenyetso 10 byakwereka ko umukunzi wawe yakubenze ntabikubwire

Ibikorwa umukunzi wawe akwereka ni byo biguhishurira by'ukuri uko akwiyumvamo, niba agukunda cyangwa yarakubenze mu ibanga ntabikubwire. 

Mu gihe ubona urukundo rwawe n’uwo wihebeye rutakigenda neza cyangwa se ubona atacyikwitayeho nka mbere, birashoboka ko yaba yarakubenze ariko ntabikubwire ahubwo akabikubwira abinyujije mu bikorwa bye, yibwira ko nubibona bizaguca intege maze wowe ukibwiriza mugatandukana.

Dore bimwe mu bikorwa byagucira amarenga ko umukunzi wawe yakubenze mu ibanga:

1. Mugorwa no gukemura amakimbirane hagati yanyu

Nibyo koko nta rukundo rushobora kubura amakimbirane, ariko iyo iteka mudashobora kuyikemurira mugakenera umuhuza, igihe kirageze ngo ufate umwanzuro wo kubivamo kuko abakundana nyabyo babasha kwikemurira amakimbirane yavuka hagati yabo.

2. Abo mubana bahora baguhangayikiye

Niba abantu muhorana bya hafi bahora bahangayitse kubera uburyo ubanye n’umukunzi wawe, bisobanuye ko hari ibyo bamubonaho bidakwiriye birimo n'imico ye ishobora kubereka ko azakubabariza umutima. 

3. Ntimukiganira uko bikwiye

Kimwe mu bimenyetso by’urukundo ruhagaze neza, ni uguhana amakuru hagati y’abakundana. Niba rero bidashoboka ko mugirana ikiganiro kirambuye kandi gikora ku mutima, nta mpamvu n’imwe yatuma mugumana kuko mwaba muri guta umwanya.

4. Ubona atakigushyigikira

Niba utekereza ko umukunzi wawe atagushyigikira mu byo ukora ndetse akenshi ukabona gahunda ze arizo zibanza imbere; iki ni ikimenyetso ko urukundo rwanyu ruri mu marembera.

5. Arakubeshya

Igihe umukunzi wawe atakikubwiza ukuri, atakikubwira ibibazo yagize ngo musangire akabisi n’agahiye, akabishye n’akaryoshye aba akwereka ko atakigukeneye mu buzima bwe kuko umuntu mukundana akubona nk’umujyanama we mukuru bigatuma agutura agahinda ke, yaba yageze no ku nsinzi agashishikazwa no kubikubwira.

6. Kutaguhamagara

Mukiri mu rukundo rwa nyarwo yaguhamagaraga inshuro zitabarika, akakwandikira ubutuma bugufi ndetse rimwe na rimwe akakoherereza n’amagambo meza ajyanye n’urukundo; amwe tuzi ku izina ry’imitoma. Ariko ubu ugasanga ni wowe wigora ukamuhamagara ngo ubashe kumva ijwi rye, ugatangira ukibaza ngo ni iki cyabaye? Nta kwirushya uzahite wibwira ko umutima we utakigutekereza habe na gato.

7. Gutinda ku kazi

Ese inshuti yawe y’umuhungu cyangwa y’umukobwa yaba ikubwira ko akazi kaba kayibanye kenshi ku buryo burenze urugero. Yego rimwe na rimwe yajyaga ku kazi agatindayo, ariko ubu arapanga n’akazi kadashoboka ka nijoro kandi ntako agira.

Agatangira akakubwira ati ‘njye sinkunda umuntu ushaka kungendaho cyane ngo angenzure buri mwanya.’ Iki gihe uzahite ubona ko nta rukundo akigufitiye kuko hari izindi gahunda aba yigiriyemo, zitandukanye n’uko yaguha umwanya mukagira ibyo byinshi mugeraho.

Kuko n'iyo akazi kaba kenshi gute, iyo umuntu agukunda akugenera umwana runaka igihe karangiye cyangwa mu gihe runaka hagati muri ko nko mu gihe cyo kuruhuka ariko ntago ashobora kuvuga ko yabuze umwanya burundu ngo icyumeru gishire, ukwezi gushire. Aha aba akubeshya ahubwo ni uko aba atakwiyumvamo.

8. Kwiyibagiza ibihe byiza mujya mugirana

Iyo umukunzi wawe ashaka ko urukundo rwanyu rujyaho akadomo, yirinda ikintu cyose cyabagarira urukundo rwanyu. Ugasanga niba mwarajyaga musohokana nko muri wikendi ntibikibaho, cyangwa se ntabwo umunsi mukuru nk’umunsi w’amavuko mukiwizihiza. 

Atangira akwereka ko nta bushake bwinshi akigufitiye kandi nta n’umwanya aba afite; ndetse rimwe na rimwe akakubwira ko aba yabyibagiwe. Nubona ariko bimeze uzahite wibwira ko urukundo rwanyu ari hafi ya ntarwo.

9. Iyo nta byishimo akigira

Ugihura n’umukunzi wawe mu minsi ya mbere urukundo rwanyu mwasaga nk’aho musigaye mwitwa ba Bwana na Madamu Byishimo, ariko ubungubu musigaye murebana ay’ingwe ukibaza impamvu ukayibura. 

Akaba yarajyaga agutungura ukabona aguhaye impano idasanzwe, ariko ubu ntakikwikoza. N’iyo atashye aza ajya mu buriri nta kuvuga menshi, kuko aba atakiri barimenshi. Ibi ni bimwe mu bintu bizakwereka ko urukundo rwanyu ntarugihari, ari ugukurayo amaso.

10. Ntimubasha kumvikana ku bintu by’ingenzi mu buzima bwanyu

Niba utabasha kumvikana n’umukunzi wawe ku bintu by’ingenzi bireba ubuzima bwanyu, ni igihe cyo gutandukana nawe. Ibintu bijyanye n’umuryango, umutungo, idini bishobora kwangiza cyane umubano w’abakundana mu gihe batabyumva kimwe.