Abasore: Reka kuruhira ubusa niba ubona ibi bimenyetso ku mukobwa ntagukunda na mba

Umukobwa musanzwe mukundana iyo atakikwiyumvamo cyangwa atakigushaka hari ibimenyetso simusiga yerekana iyo utakimugera ku nzoka ndetse akaba atifuza umubano w’urukundo nawe.

Bimwe muri ibyo bimenyetso dukesha urubuga El Crema ni ibi bikurikira:

1. NTA CYO UBA UVUZE KURI WE

Iyo umukobwa cyangwa umugore atakikwiyumvamo, uburyo yakwitagaho ndetse na ya kamere y’abagore yo gukunda abagabo birazimira bikagenda mahera. Uyu mwari wahoze akwita amazina nka Cherie, Bae, Sweety…ntaba ashaka kumenya icyo ari cyo cyose kikwerekeyeho, nta cyo aba akwitayeho, nta kiba kikimuhangayikishije, kandi ukubaho kwawe biba bisa ntacyo kumubwiye.

2. NTABA AKIKUBONA NK’UMUNTU UMUKURURA

Iyo umukobwa ari mu mubano w’urukundo, aba abona umusore barurimo kumwe ari igitego, rudasumbwa kandi ateye ishema. Nyamara ibi byose iyo akwanze kubera wenda impamvu runaka, ntaba akibyitaho, umukobwa utakigukunda, ibi nta gashati biba bimuciriye, rwose aba akubona nka rubanda bose bamwe bavugwaho ko batera urubwa.

3. NTA MWETE ABA AGISHYIRA MU RUKUNDO RWANYU

Ubundi umukobwa wakunze koko ariko abirimo bimwe bya nyabyo, umwete mu rukundo awurusha Ndabaga ku rugamba. Gusa iyo bihindutse muri we, ingufu zose yakoreshaga ngo urukundo rwanyu ruzire agatotsi zirayoyoka. Arekera aho gushyira ingufu mu gutuma urukundo rwanyu rutera agatambwe kagana iterambere cyangwa ngo akwereke ko hari icyo yitayeho muri uwo mubano.

4. KUGANIRA BIRAHAGARARA

Ubundi mu mibanire y’abantu bose mu ngeri zose n’imirimo yose, ndetse ubanza no ku nyamasawa ari ko bimeze, kuvugana no kuganira ‘communication’ ni inkingi ya mwamba. Ushobora kuba ubona mugikomeje umubano w’urukundo na we gusa iyo atakigukunda, uburyo mwari musanzwe muganiramo burahinduka cyane. Ya masaha mwamaraga muganira museka arabura ndetse ntatume umenya uko uko ubuzima bwe bwifashe muri iyo minsi; mbese ukamera nk’umunyamahanga kuri we.

5. UKO UMEZE N’UKO UBAYEHO NTABA ABYITAYEHO

Ibi uzabibona igihe umukobwa cyangwa umugore mwakundanaga yamaze kukuzinukwa. Azaba akora ibintu azi ko byanakubabaza umutima atitaye ku ngaruka; ntaba acyitaye ku buryo ubayeho n’uko umerewe ndetse ibyo kuba yagira uruhare mu byishimo byawe ntacyo biba bimubwiye. Mu gihe mbere yaguhaga agaciro ukaza mu by’ibanze, ‘priorities’ ze, iki gihe ntacyo uba uvuze. Ushobora kumusaba gusohokana na we akakureka akirebera filime atasoje. Mbese kumarana nawe igihe akabirutisha ‘serie’ iyi cyangwa iriya yo muri Koreya cyangwa Philippines.

6. N’UBWO WAKWASA URUTARE UKAZANA IMIZI YARWO NTIBYAMUSHITURA

Ubundi iyo umukobwa cyangwa umugore agukunda, ashimishwa n’utuntu umukorera nubwo twaba duto cyane. Nyamara iyo akwikuyemo, nubwo bamubwira ko wakuyeho agahigo mu guterura ibiremereye kurusha abandi ku isi, ibyo ntacyo biba bimubwiye. Nubwo wamubwira ko umutwara ku kwezi, ashwi daa! Ibyamushimishaga mbere aba abibona nk’umwanda kuri we noneho cyangwa akanabigaya ku buryo utakumva ko ari we byanyuraga umutima bikagaragarira ku maso he mbere.

7. UBA USA N’AHO ARI WOWE UTERA UKANIYIKIRIZA

Umukobwa utakigukunda ntazahangayikishwa no kumenya amakuru yawe. Mu busanzwe, abakundana babana mu buryo magirirane. Nyamara iyo wakundanaga n’umukobwa akaba atakikwiyumvamo, uratera ukiyikiriza. Uzamuhamagara mu gitondo wenda ntakwitabe, nanakwitaba akuganirize nk’utabishaka; icyo uvuze cyose yikirize ati ‘Iiii, yego, hoya, OKAY, Eeeehhh’’ mbese ntashaka ko muganira, za mpaka mwajyaga mutebya musererezanya byo gusetsanya ntaba ashaka ko muzijya.

Ntazafata na rimwe iya mbere ngo abe ari we uguhamagara kuri telefoni, numubaza impamvu akubwire ko adafite ayo kuguhamagaza kandi atava kuri WhatsApp, Facebook, YouTube n’izindi mbuga nkoranyambaga zigibwaho umuntu abanje kwishyura amafaranga. Mu gihe avuye kuri izo mbuga, numuhamagara, uzasanga ari kuyivugiraho akubwire ko ari abandi bari bamuhamagaye n’izindi nzitwazo zidafite agaciro.

8. NTA GASHYA AGIKORA MU RUKUNDO RWANYU

Iyo umukobwa atakigukunda, ntacyo yakora cy’agashya agamije kugushimisha.Twa tuntu yakoraga ngo ubone ko ukunzwe. Amera nk’uwatwibagiwe. Udu ‘surprises’ yagukoreraga se…wenda umunsi w’isabukuru yawe wizihizaho kintu iki n’iki nigera atakigikunda, ashobora kutazanakwandikira n’ubutumwa bugufi ku munsi wawe udasanzwe, numubaza, akubwire ko yabyibagiwe, ko byamuciyeho, mbese ntacyo aba yakora ngo ubone ko witaweho, ko hari uguhoza ku mutima wifuza ko uhora wishimye.

9. KWISHIMIRA UMUBIRI WAWE BIRAHAGARARA

Mu gihe yishimiraga ko mugenda mufatanye agatoki ku kandi, guhoberana mukagwanamo urwuba, gusomanira mu ruhame, ubu uyu mwari biba bisa n’aho bimuteye isoni.Umwana w’umukobwa mu gihe yakoraga ibimenyetso bivuga biti “Mbisa na ko nkomeza’’, ubu noneho arashaka ko umuvanaho ukuboko kwawe, mbese ntaba akwishimiye, uba usa n’aho umutera isoni.